


let me come home (home is wherever i'm with you)

by itoldyounottoeatthesoap



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, How do I tag?, Miscommunication, Multi, Overuse of Metaphors, Zag is clueless, don't worry it has a happy ending!, sexually charged boxing session, slight angst, so is meg, than is buff, they're idiots your honor, with a side of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itoldyounottoeatthesoap/pseuds/itoldyounottoeatthesoap
Summary: “You have reached your destination, Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Please wait for the plane to stop moving before unbuckling. Enjoy your trip! Thank you.”Zag scoffs slightly at the words,enjoy your trip. The place he’s headed to is the last place he wants to go.You’re going back anyway, though.
Relationships: Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	let me come home (home is wherever i'm with you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alter_idem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alter_idem/gifts).



> hello y'all! 
> 
> fic title from "home/dirty paws". 
> 
> this is also a birthday fic for a friend! happy (very late) birthday to pickle!
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

“You have reached your destination, Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Please wait for the plane to stop moving before unbuckling. Enjoy your trip! Thank you.”

Zag scoffs slightly at the words, _enjoy your trip_. The place he’s headed to is the last place he wants to go. 

_You’re going back anyway, though._

He unbuckles despite the warning from the voice from the speaker (he’s never been good at listening), earning himself a glare from the old woman next to him. He doesn’t have the energy in him to care. He waits for her to get up before grabbing his own luggage from the overhead bin. 

He takes the easy walk from his seat to the long metal boarding hallway - his aunts and uncles not ones to let him fly anything other than first class - down to the baggage claim. He doesn’t have to wait long before he spots his luggage, a large (black) bag.

The airport isn’t too busy at the time of year, not many people looking to travel to Michigan in the middle of May. It makes it easier for Zag to find Charon holding the whiteboard with his name _Zagreus_ written across it in nice handwriting. 

He pulls his headphones down to around his neck before giving Charon a slight wave. Charon attempts to sign something to Zag as he leads Zag to their car, a nice black Mercedes, before giving up and holding the stuff in his hands up in exasperation. _How typical of Hades, a black Mercedes._ Zag really should’ve managed his expectations around this trip. 

Zag insists on putting his own bags into the car and shoos the man into the driver's seat. Charon has helped Zag with more than enough. 

Zag shuts the trunk and hops in the backseat, sliding across the smooth leather. The car door shuts behind him, and it feels like his fate has been sealed with that sound. 

Charon pulls out of the parking lot and Zag pulls out his phone. He glances at the lock screen, still free from any notifications. Zag purses his lips before shutting his phone back off. The car ride is just over an hour, which is long enough for Zag to regret coming back at all. 

“So, Charon, how are you? I hope father hasn’t kept you too busy,” he says as he puts his headphones away into their case, and shoves it somewhere into his backpack. 

Charon glances in the rearview mirror and gives him a small shrug.

“So only slightly busy? I guess that’s better than the alternative.”

Zag glances back at the window. Yup, there it is, the deep seated feeling of regret building in his stomach. Zag can’t help but wonder why he enjoys torturing himself like this. Well, he’s here now. No backing out now. 

Zag’s phone buzzes. He picks it up and glances at the screen, displaying a missed call notification from an unknown number, covering the recent picture of him and his mother. He shouldn’t have left so soon.

“Anything changed since I’ve been gone?”

Charon doesn’t look up. 

“Thanks, Charon.”

Charon gives him a thumbs up. 

Zag is not looking forward to this trip. Actually, he was never looking forward to this trip. He doesn’t know how he convinced himself to go back home, despite the amount of effort it took for him to leave. 

He might not be able to escape again. 

Well, that seems to be a problem for another time. That time sure isn’t now. 

He’s torn between being excited and dreading to return. He’s not torn, actually, the more he thinks about it. He’s just dreading it. The only plus will be seeing Cerberus again. Zag’s sure that that big mutt must’ve missed him. 

Zag would much rather be back in New York with his mother and his aunts and uncles. It would be better than _Michigan_. 

He felt suffocated in the walls of his town. He never truly belonged, either. Was always wishing for something more, always looking for something beyond what the gates of Hell had. 

When he had stepped onto the streets of New York, he had finally felt free. Like his chains had been cut and he was a prisoner seeing daylight for the first time in years. 

He still felt like something was missing. It was different from the feeling he had felt back in Hell, where he was searching for something to fill that pit in his stomach. Zag had felt empty, somewhere deep in his heart, where it longed for something that had been left behind.

Zag watches as the city buildings turn into the tall green trees lining the freeway. He misses the familiar skyline of buildings already. 

They still have a thirty minute drive and Zag has already regretted going and dreaded arriving.

This will not be a fun trip. Scratch that, not only will it not be fun, it’ll be torturous. 

It’s not just his dad he’s dreading seeing. While his dad isn’t the easiest person to get along with, he was more or less neutral to Zag’s desire of leaving the town of Hell. Hades wasn’t ever supportive, but he allowed Zag to leave however many times he wanted, under the impression that Zag would never be able to see any place other than Hell. 

He’s missed Than while he’s been gone. Missed his dry humor, his cold hands, and-

 _Fuck_. 

Zag forgot to tell Than he’s coming home. 

Than is going to kill him. 

Actually, Meg might be the one to kill him and Than will help her hide his body. He buries his face into his hands. Fuck- Dusa isn’t a violent person, but she might smack him if she finds out he’s returned too. 

Wow, Zag does not want to deal with _any_ of them right now. 

Megaera is a completely different problem that Zag does not have the mental capacity for. 

Charon stops the car, giving Zag a look in the rearview mirror. Charon waits at the gates of Hell, the black metal gate tall and somewhat threatening. 

“Hello! Ah, Charon, welcome back! Who do you have in the back, this time?” Hypnos shoves his face in through the window, his obnoxious smile stretched against his lips. “Zagreus! It’s about time you’re back. Expected you back sooner, to be honest.” Hypnos places his pen against his chin. “Have you let anyone know you’re back yet?”

“No, not yet, Hypnos.”

“Ah, ah. Thanatos will not be happy about that, Zagreus.”

Why did Zag return? What was the appeal of coming back?

“Yes, I am aware, Hypnos. Good to see you too.”

Hypnos waves Charon along, with a final wave for Zag. 

Charon stares at him through the mirror - that’s getting creepy, how does Charon _see_ where he’s going? Actually, Zag doesn’t want to know. It’s the I’m-not-angry-just-disappointed look that Zag has gotten too often in his life. 

“Don’t give me that look, Charon. I know.”

Charon shakes his head slightly as he stops in front of his fathers house. Zag tosses a fifty dollar bill at Charon. “Take it. For all you’ve had to deal with. Thank you, Charon."

Zag grabs his bags from the trunk of the car, and walks slowly into his old house. 

It’s in surprisingly good shape, but Zag shouldn’t be surprised. That must be a common theme, not being surprised at the state of Hell since he’s left. 

It’s been a long four years, and he’s not sure if he could say the same for himself. 

Cerberus seems to recognize him, though. The huge Molossian Mastiff isn’t able to get enough of Zag. Cerberus’s mouth is wide open and panting and his tail wags, sweeping across the floor to show his excitement. 

“Well, hello! Who’s a good boy? Did you miss me bud? Gotta let me in the door, Cerberus, move to the side a bit, thank you, sir.”

Zag leaves his bags next to the door and shrugs off his coat. He hangs it back up on their shined brass coat hooks before walking down the long hallway, where his father’s study lays at the end. 

Hades’ desk faces the doorway, set in the center of the massive office. His father sits in his chair, large enough to qualify as a throne. The Cerberus’s dog bed lays to the desk’s left side, slightly indented and slightly torn up. 

When Zag walks into the office, his father barely looks up from the paperwork that lays across his desk, responsibilities of being the mayor of Hell. 

“Hello, Father.”

“Welcome back, Zagreus. Though, I didn’t ever expect to have you back again, given how your mother reacted once she left from here. Stupid boy, tell me, was the world as you expected it to be?”

“It was, Father.”

“Good luck trying to leave again, Zagreus. When people come here, it’s not often they leave. You know this.”

Zag purses his lips. “I guess I’ll be going, Father.”

He turns and shuts the doors behind him. 

He grabs his bags from the entrance, this time lugging them to his room across the house.

On his way there, he notices the living room is a mess, pillows strewn all over the place, the couch ripped and feathers lay across the floor, mingling with the dog fur that covers the entire room in a thin sheet. 

Zag pats Cerberus, who looks at the destroyed room with him. “You really did a number, huh, bud?”

Cerberus looks up at him with sad eyes. “I know, bud. I’m sorry I left you. You know I would’ve taken you if I could.”

Zag continues along to his room. It’s a mess, as usual. There are clothes falling out of the closet, and it looks as if no one has touched it in the four years Zag was away. 

Zag wouldn’t be surprised, though, if his father never did enter his room after he left. 

Organized chaos is what Zag liked to call his room, despite others telling him to clean it up. If he can find things perfectly fine, the room is clean enough for him. He moves some of the clothes off his bed onto the floor and falls face first into the mattress. 

Wow. Jetlag is a bitch. He lets himself rest for a few moments, before rolling over onto his back minutes later. 

When Zag checks his phone again, the lock screen is no longer empty, this time it’s cluttered with messages from Than and missed calls from Dusa. The only person who has yet to contact him is Meg, and Zag is afraid of what she has to say. 

He opens Than’s two messages, sparse and straight to the point. 

**Than**

You’re home. Why didn’t you tell me?

Answer me when you get this. 

Hypnos must’ve told Than. Damn, Zag was hoping to break the news to Thanatos himself. It’s a small town. Zag couldn’t possibly hope to keep this information to one person, especially when this news pertaining information of the return of the mayor’s son.

**Zag**

I am. Meet up with me later to catch up?

Zag listens to the two voice messages left by Dusa. 

_H-hi Zagreus! I heard you were back, and well, I was just wondering if we could, you know, meet up at some point? Um, yea anyway! Bye!_

Zag chuckles fondly before calling her back. 

“Hi, Ms. Dusa,” Zag says into the phone receiver. 

He hears a gasp followed by a “Zagreus!” Zag’s face stretches into a smile. “You got my calls!”

“Yes, I did. I’ve missed you, Dusa.”

There’s a nervous chuckle on the other line. “You can, um, ignore the words in the voicemail I sent you- I get it if you’re busy and don’t have time to meet up, you’re a busy guy and I don’t want to-”

“No, Dusa, I would love to meet up. How about tomorrow, assuming I’m not meeting with Than, or my father isn’t on my ass.”

“Oh, alright then. I think. You’re great, Zag- Ignore me, um, ok, bye, Zagreus!”

Zag’s shaking his head at the phone as he pulls it away from his ear. 

Still no word from Meg. 

Zag can’t help but feel disappointed. 

Than has yet to text him back, but Zag knows he’s busy with his work recently as the one coroner and mortician of the town. 

Zag sits up straight in his bed, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. 

Zag really fucked up by only telling his father he’s returning. 

He tugs on a light jacket over his t-shirt and shoving his feet into his town boots. He gives Cerberus a pat before leaving, despite the whines coming from Cerberus.

“I’ll be back, don’t worry, buddy.”

Zag takes a small stroll around town and he can pick out each spot where his life had changed. 

Hell is a small town, full of self-made businessmen and farmers. It’s a small community built of people who were searching for something, meeting here, as a last resort.

It’s stuck in the deadly cycle of, taking over the family business, marrying, pumping out children who would then take over the business. 

It was something Zag had never felt a part of, never wanted in his life.

Everyone held such a contentedness with their life in Hell. It was something that Zag had never felt. No matter where he was, despite his father being the mayor of the town, he was still the kid with two-colored eyes and a mother who had run away after having him. He was never quite right, around the other kids in Hell either, sticking out like a sore thumb in a place with so much monotony. 

It would be after finding out that his mother was alive, in New York, that Zag would start dreaming of leaving. 

“You’ve returned.”

Zag glances away from the road he had been walking, up to the porch of a near-by house. 

“Hello, Achilles.”

His old mentor stands against the railing of their farmer’s porch, long golden hair down and loose. He still looks the same from the years ago. 

“Good to see you again, lad. Although, to be honest, I didn’t expect to ever see you again. You and I both know the difficulties of leaving.” Achilles glances off down the road, the road which would lead to his lover’s own town, miles away. 

Zag approaches the steps, his shadow cast upon the pavement in the midday sun. “I met my mother, Achilles. She was better than I ever could’ve expected or wished for- New York held none of the dreary that seems to be around this place. Oh, the city was amazing, sir. There was life, and other people who you and I would never know about!” Zag glances slightly at Achilles. “My mother reminded me of you, slightly, obviously she wasn’t the same, but I- there was no relation to my father, it was as if she were completely different. I only wish I were able to spend more time.”

“I’m glad you were able to enjoy it, lad. I hope you are able to spend as much time with your mother as you wish. I can be of help if you ever need it, Zagreus.”

“Thank you, Achilles. I wish you luck as well.”

“Remember your training, Zagreus. The pain of death is only but an obstacle.”

“And fear is only for the weak.”

Zag gives Achilles one last look, leaving his mentor staring longingly into the distance. He remembers a similar conversation they had when Zag had first told him about his thoughts of escaping. 

Zag doesn’t dwell on it, though. It ended in the same way this conversation ended, with a reminder to be strong. 

He only slightly understands the need to be strong as he returns. It was understandable when he was attempting to leave, like a warning against the outside world.

Zag continues on his stroll. He passes Charon’s small shop on the side of the road, somewhere he sells trinkets he collects when he isn’t Hades’ personal chauffeur. 

He’ll find his walk ending with a large house at the end, end of the street, all the way across town after walking by a couple of Hell’s pubs and bars. 

The house is painted a dark, dark purple and there are small steps leading up to the front yard. There’s a pitiful attempt at a garden, some of the plants are withered and others are unable to hold themselves up.

 _Must be Than attempting to grow a garden._ Zag chuckles at the thought of him planting seeds and watering them. 

Zag walks up a familiar set of stone stairs. 

He remembers late nights, cold hands and starry skies on these stairs. 

He raises his hand to knock but he hesitates. He wants to reach for the doorknob, to just open the door like he did four years ago. 

But a lot has changed in four years. 

Instead, he steels himself and reminds himself that fear is for the weak. 

His knuckles rap against the solid wood door, and he can hear shuffling coming from behind. The door opens, revealing a tall woman, hair as dark as the night sky, her neck decorated with silver and purple. “Child? You have come home?”

“Nyx.” Zag stumbles into the house, the same as it was four years ago. The pictures remain on the fireplace and the rugs are the same and it reminds him of how right it felt to be in this house. 

It’s not the same anymore. It used to be able to soothe the feeling of not belonging for the amount of time he’d spend here. 

It’s not able to do that anymore, now that Zag knows where he belongs. 

It’s still the same house Zag spent most of his time in, spent evenings with Than playing card games or video games. Than always insisted on the games despite losing to Zag almost every time. 

“How was it, child? Were you able to find her?” 

“I was, Nyx. You told me where she was, and she was there… Just as you told me. I still was unable to spend my days with her as much as I wished. And yet… I find myself back here despite the amount I still have to ask and to do with Persephone.”

“There will always be time, Zagreus. Though it may be sparse, time will continue. I am glad, though, that you were able to reunite with your mother in the short time you had. Will you attempt to leave again, despite the pain you had left behind last time, even though you did not have enough time?”

Zag hesitates. “Yes. Yes, I think I would. Nyx, there’s so much stuff that- that I never got to do with her, and- yeah. I would.”

It wasn’t that Zag wanted to leave. He didn’t _want_ to leave them behind.

But he did.

And he can’t bring himself to regret it. 

Nyx reaches out to cup his cheek. Her hands are cold, perpetually cold and Zag knows Than got his cold, cold hands from her. “You know I will support you in whatever you choose to do. So if you must return to New York, take your time. Time exists without us, and it is our duty to make the most of that time. We are only mortals, Zagreus. We are not gods with all the time in the world.”

“We are only mortals doing our best in the time the Gods give us.”

~~

_Zag has his legs swinging over the edge of the balcony. It's dark and windy, but that doesn’t stop him from taking a breath of fresh air outside. He needs to escape from his room, needs something to clear the lead from his head and the cotton in his chest._

_His mother is alive._

_His mother is alive and well and in New York with his aunts and uncles._

_And Zag is here. In Hell. Far, far away from her._

_Zag needs to know why. Why she left, why she’s no longer living with him and Father. Why didn’t she stay? He has so many words he wants to say to her. So many lost questions and longing nights and unsaid words._

_Zag has never wanted to leave more. He’s been stuck under the idea that the only future for him was laid out, written in stone in the ground of Hell. Before this, it was as if he had no choice. He He thought that he’d be forced to live in Hell for the rest of his life, begrudgingly but accepting because it’s never worth it to argue with the Fates, that he’d take over his father’s position as mayor and live in the piles of paperwork and townwork that his father deals with._

_Zag doesn’t want it. Zag has never once in his life desired that._

_He doesn’t belong in this town, he belongs somewhere he is unable to reach, unable to grasp or hold. He knows it’s somewhere though. He can feel the way it prickles his skin and the way the air stings his nose, burning all the way down to his lungs._

_They’re under the same stars and moon. Zag will find her._

_And hopefully he’ll finally belong._

_A loud rustling from the bushes under the balcony draws his attention. Zag glances over the side of the railing._

_“Than?”_

_“Zag? You didn’t answer the door when I knocked.”_

_Zag lets out a long sigh. “I know, Than. You’ve climbed before right?”_

_Than nods and grabs the long vine leading up the house. The vine has been there before he was born and Zag has climbed it multiple times himself._

_When Than reaches the top, he sits next to Zag. He glances over inconspicuously. “You didn’t come over today. Mother Nyx missed you.”_

_“I know, Than.”_

_“What’s wrong, Zagreus? Your face is open and you have never been good at lying.”_

_“Father told me about my biological mother today.” Zag can feel the moment Thanatos looks over at him. “She’s alive, Than. She’s- she’s alive in New York. And… I’ve never gotten to see her or-or talk to her, it’s like I’ve found the part that’s been missing! I… I just don’t understand why she- why she left in the first place.”_

_Than is silent. “Could you not bear to look at your foster mother, then, after finding out about your ‘real’ mother?” His voice is cold, like a chill running up your spine. It makes the hairs on the back of his neck rise._

_“Than, I- That’s not it. It’s a lot to find out, and digest, you know.” Zag lets out a small laugh. “She’s alive, Than. And I know where she is.”_

_Than’s always been good at reading him, ever since they were little, despite all of his losses in their games. Than’s eyes travel into Zag’s bedroom, catching on the extra mess that lays around his dresser, the way his bed is unnaturally unmade in such a way it must have been intentional._

_Zag swallows as Than’s eyes finally land on the suitcase hidden in the back of the room._

_Zag can never hide things from him, no matter how hard he tries._

_Than’s eyes narrow as they look back at Zag._

_“You were planning on leaving.”_

_“I was.”_

_“And you were just going to leave all of us behind, just like that? In less than a few seconds?”_

_“You don’t understand, Thanatos. You could never understand.”_

_“We’ve been more than enough for you, your entire life, and you were planning on just leaving for this woman you and I have never met in a place we could never imagine? This is how you’re going to repay us for everything?”_

_“Don’t act like I don’t appreciate what you and Mother Nyx has done for me. But it would be worth it, Than.”_

_“How do you know that, Zagreus? Are we not good enough for you down here?”_

_Zag stares at Than. “You know that’s not the truth. It’s just- I- I’ve never really belonged here in the first place, Than. You know that.”_

_Than lets out a long huff and closes his eyes. “I do.”_

_“Let me leave?”_

_Than opens his eyes, looking back at Zag. “I require one last game. If I win, we get one more night together from the time you plan on leaving. If you win, I’ll let you go.”_

_Zag smirks. “Since when have you ever been good at beating me at anything?”_

_“Not so fast, Zagreus.”_

~~

It’s been a long time since Zag has talked to Than, nonetheless _seen_ Than. 

The theme of the day should be that _a lot can change in a few years_. 

Zag doesn’t exactly know what Than’s job as the mortician and coroner of the town entails, but damn, he might have to ask Than for his workout routine. 

Zag may be buff, but Than is _built_. Could probably bench press him at this point, and Zag isn’t the lightest. It might be the large muscle tee that Than is wearing, although it’s mid spring and not the time for summer clothes. 

Zag can’t judge him actually, they’ve all worn that in the winter at some point. 

Than’s hair has grown longer, it’s not the childish bowl cut style anymore. It’s now parted in the middle, the front sections framing his face. The teenage ganglyness and the slight baby fat has worn away, revealing sharp cut cheekbones and an angular jawline. 

If Zag didn’t know any better, Zag would’ve thought Than were hot. 

But Zag does know better. 

“Zagreus.” 

“Thanatos.”

Than’s laugh is dry and there are no hints of humor. “Life and death, Zagreus. We are both the same.”

“How have you been, Than?”

“Well enough,” Than says, turning slightly away and grabbing his bag from behind the counter. “How was New York? Did you meet everyone you wanted?” 

Zag’s caught Than on his way out of work for the day. He’s tired, Zag can see it in the way he holds himself. 

“I- yes. I met my mother, Than. She would’ve lov-”

Than closes the door shut behind him, as Zag trails after him like a lost puppy. “What do you want, Zagreus?”

“I want to catch up with you, Than. Is that too much to ask?”

“Zagreus. I don’t-”

“Play a game, perhaps? If I win, we go to get drinks. If you win, you return home unbothered.”

Than’s hands twitch against his briefcase and he lets out a long sigh. “And if there’s a tie?”

“I go home as well.”

“Fine.”

Zag reaches into his pocket, pulling out an old deck of cards they had since they were younger, along with a handful of old poker chips. He gestures to the table outside of Than’s work office before sitting down and looking back up at Than. Than drops his briefcase and tugs on his sweatshirt over his muscle tee as he sits down. 

He deals, and they both hold their hands of 7. 

Than looks at him before placing down his first card, a queen of hearts. Zag watches him as he places down a king, the king of clubs, on top of the queen. Zag takes a chip and places it on top of the pair of cards. 

Than places an ace of clubs and Zag drops his hand on the table, giving Than the chip. Zag draws seven more cards from the deck. 

It repeats like that, occasionally Zag winning a pile of chips and other times Than wins the chips. They go until they run out of cards, finally landing on the ace of spades. 

Zag grabs the chip, adding it to his pile. 

Their piles are similar, and it’ll take counting for them to tell. 

“13. 14-“

“13. 14. 15.“ Zag smirks at Than.

Than drops his cards against the table with a sigh. “You got more than I did.” Than scowls. “Why I even bothered with your silly games when I knew the outcome will forever remain a mystery.”

“I think you owe me a drink, Thanatos.”

Zag leans over, teasingly holding out a hand to Than. Than shows a small amount of emotion through his wrinkled nose at Zag’s extended hand. 

“Let us get this over with.”

Zag takes him to the Olympian’s Bar across town, past Charon’s little shop and the other bar and pubs. It’s a hole-in-the-wall bar that only people who lived there will know about it, which is almost everybody. There will be the occasional tourist, stopping and just passing by, for either a rest stop or for a night’s rest. 

Hell has never been appealing to people as a final destination, except for the unfortunate souls who found themselves settling down in this place full of misery and misfortune. 

The Olympian’s Bar is owned and managed by Nyx, as most businesses are in this town. It’s through agreements between Nyx and Hades, the largest business owner in Hell and the mayor, that Nyx runs her businesses. 

It’s where Dusa works too, and maybe, just maybe, Zag is looking for her too, just in case his time with Than goes a bit sour. 

Than and Zag sit at the high table top bar, and coasters are set down in front of them. 

Than orders a glass of whiskey, swirling it around in the clear glass. “So, Zagreus, what do you want from me?” 

“Is spending time and catching up not enough for you?”

Than narrows his eyes. “Are you going to tell me why you didn’t tell anyone about your return? Why you kept it even from Mother Nyx?”

Zag can pick up the bitter tone in Than’s voice. 

“I’m sorry, Than. I meant to tell you, but… I just forgot. It was a last minute decision, and- and I didn’t even know if _I_ wanted to be back… nonetheless if you and Meg wanted me back.”

“You’re lucky I haven’t heard from Meg, either.” Than pauses staring at his glass of whiskey. “She’s probably pissed.”

Zag winces. “I know.”

“So what was it that caused you to come back? Finally got sick of your shiny new toys and opportunities in New York?”

“Than, you know that isn’t true.”

Than scoffs as he downs the rest of the whiskey, wincing slightly as it goes down his throat.

Zag watches Than’s Adam’s apple bob with his drink. His neck is long and pale, skin stretching over the smooth planes. 

Zag has to blink to refocus himself as Than starts talking, muscles in his neck moving along with his words. “You were running from yourself, Zagreus. Most likely still are.” Than waves down another server and asks for more whiskey. “I still can’t believe you actually left. How did it work out?”

Zag blinks. “I… I already answered that question.”

Than clenches his fist around the whiskey glass. His muscles in his jaw clench as Than glares at his hands.

“If you stare at that glass any harder, Than, it might break.”

Zag sets the glass down on the wood. Than puts it down softly, softer than Zag expected. “Zagreus why?”

_Why did you return?_

Zag wishes he knew the answer to that.

It’s something Zag has been asking himself since entering Charon’s car. 

“Don’t tell me you don’t know. You have to know, Zagreus. You wouldn’t have returned otherwise if you didn’t have a reason.” There’s a slight edge to his voice, tilting upward and Zag has never heard Than beg before but it sure sounds like it now. 

“I’m sorry, Than. I-”

Than shakes his head. “Sure, ok. Thanks for the drinks, Zag. I guess I’ll just figure it out myself.”

He gets up hurriedly, shoving the seat back under the bar before disappearing into the crowd. 

Zag places his head in his hands and wants to scream. 

He doesn’t.

Wow, Zag really fucked up. 

He sits there for a bit longer, wallowing in his own pity. 

Zag thought Than supported him and his choice to leave, thought he wanted Zag to go and find his mother, wanted Zag to find himself outside of Hell. 

He guesses he was wrong about that. 

“How are you, Mr- Oh! Prince Zagreus? Is that you?” A distinct, high-pitched voice calls out. 

Zag raises his head, coming face to face with a bright green haired girl in an apron and back shirt. 

“Dusa? I didn’t know you were working tonight.”

“Nyx let me back after you left. Must’ve said something convincing.” Dusa scratches the back of her head. 

“I’m glad, Dusa.”

“So, how long have you been sitting here by yourself, Prince?”

Zag gives Dusa a slight smile. “I thought I told you that I’m not a Prince, and you don’t have to call me that. I haven’t been here too long.”

“Oh, I know, Zagreus! I like to, though, I’m going to keep doing that.”

Zag chuckles quietly. “Okay, Dusa. How have you been?”

“Oh! Is there any drink I could possibly get you? Maybe some vodka or- um, Long Island?”

“I’ll take whatever you want to make.” Zag waves her off. 

She starts pouring random alcohol into the mixer. Zag doesn’t really care what, as long as it numbs the feeling of failure settling in his stomach. 

“I’ve been good, Prince, thanks to you! I’ve been able to keep busy with all the work that Nyx puts on me. I’ve been bouncing around between all of her shops, ya know? I clean up a ton of things and- wait enough about me! What happened in New York?” Dusa leans against the wood, getting close so she can hear Zag over the sounds of other people talking. 

“Oh, it was great, Dusa! Even greater than I could’ve imagined. My mother was amazing and she was everything I wanted her to be and my aunts and uncles were super great too.”

“Oh, that’s lovely! Zag, I’m so happy for you! Um, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m just a tad bit disappointed that I only found out today that you were coming home, um, considering that you arrived _today_.”

Zag grins sheepishly. “Uh, yea, sorry about that.”

“It’s totally okay, Zag! It’s just a bit concerning that’s all.” Dusa turns, responding to someone calling her name. “Oh, sorry, I’ve gotta get back to work! Enjoy your drink, Zag, hope to see you tomorrow so we can talk!”

She slides his drink to him and Zag downs it on one chug before throwing money down and leaving.

He takes the long walk back to his house, arriving long after midnight. 

Hades’ office light is still on, and he can see the shadow of his body in the window. 

Like a rebellious teenager sneaking back into the house, Zag climbs up the vine leading to his balcony. 

He climbs onto the balcony with ease and heads into his messy room. When he finally checks his phone again, he has a single message from Meg. 

**Meg**

Than told me what happened. I’m going to skin you alive and enjoy it.

Zag winces. Yeah, he should’ve known that was coming. 

At least Than had somewhat approved of him leaving. Meg, on the other hand, well… she hadn’t been the most supportive. 

He stares at the message for a bit longer before shutting off his phone and rolling into his bed. It’s oddly more comfortable than it was when Zagreus was last here and when Zag places his head on the pillow, he’s knocked out. 

~~

_It starts with an unspoken dare, words discussed behind their backs._

_“Megaera and Zagreus could never last more than a week, tops.”_

_They aren't the people to step away from a challenge._

_Their relationship starts like a racehorse out of the gate. Fast, unrelenting, like there is always something on the line._

_It starts mid-school year, like every typical teenage fling and coming of age story, with messy and quick makeouts in the school’s locker rooms and janitor’s closets. It carries over into the summer, late night calls and Saturday Night parties._

_Their love can only be described as explosive, something shot out of a canon, something powerful and passionate._

_There’s never been a better way to describe them._

_They come together like two heroes met, destined for tragedy, people trying to avoid the prophecy just to lead them straight into their fates._

_They did last longer than the dare originally thought._

_Just… not long enough._

_It’s five months into their relationship when Zag royally fucks up._

_He doesn’t mean to._

_The only thing he has is a bad excuse and a shit ton of evidence piling up against him._

_It’s at one of the Saturday night parties when Zagreus gets a little too drunk on whatever alcohol punch juice mix their serving and loses Meg in the crowd of teenagers and flashing lights._

_The loud music fills his senses and Zagreus forgets everything that brought him to that moment. If you had asked him his name, he probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you._

_Another lonely party-goer catches his eye. The guy is tall, taller than him just like Than, dark hair and high cheek-bones. He’s got a lovely jaw structure and long elegant neck leading down to a chiseled chest peeking out through the worn-out collar of his shirt._

_Zag wants him. Immediately._

_So, with the extra courage, provided by the alcohol and hstupid decisions, he walks confidently up to the guy and leans into his ear, praying to the Gods that he’s not about to get beat up if his hunch is wrong._

_Instead, the guy leans back, and gives Zagreus a wink before pulling him in closer by his collar and whispering in his ear with a low husky voice._

_Zag doesn’t remember what the guy said, but remembers the taste of the alcohol on his tongue and the feeling of the heat of his hands around his waist._

_So, fast forward about, let’s see, a day and Meg knows and Zag has a pounding hangover. He hasn’t had a hangover this bad since his first drink._

_“Zagreus,” Meg says. Her phone is clutched in her hand tightly, so tightly that Zag thinks she might break it._

_His head is pounding and really, Zag is having a hard time focusing on her. He’s too busy trying not to throw up for the second time today._

_“I heard what happened.”_

_Meg sounds defeated and angry. Mainly angry. Zag can’t blame her._

_He can only really blame himself._

_He’s not entirely sure he regrets it._

_“You stay the hell away from me, Zagreus. I don’t want to see you again.”_

_They do see each other again, eventually. Zag has too much pride to ever go crawling back to Meg, groveling and apologizing. He’ll take this defeat as he takes all other defeats._

_For the pain of death is only an obstacle. And in this case, the death of their relationship is only another thing for Zagreus to overcome._

_They pass each other in the halls during school, never acknowledging each other, despite the amount of times Megaera and Than stop to talk._

_It’s not Zag’s problem. Not something to lose sleep over. It’s his own fault anyway._

_They speak again after his father finds out about his plan to leave Hell._

_His father, ever the supporter, encourages him by telling him, “No one leaves here, foolish boy. What makes you think you can?”_

_Zag ignores him. Zag knows he can make it out, knows that if his mother found a way, he can find a way._

_He gets help from his aunts and uncles, supporting him along his way, with either advice or money. Nyx gets him in touch with many of them, one of the first people to fully support his choice to leave._

_Meg does not support him. At all._

_Zag can’t be surprised, honestly. He never expected her to be okay with it in the first place. She’s always been about duty, been born into the first position of the furies, people who watch the town and dole out punishments as needed. Her life has always been dictated by her job, her duty._

_Meg’s the only person who is remotely successful at convincing Zag to stay in Hell._

_“Time to put those boxing lessons to good use, Zagreus. Don’t want Achilles to be disappointed now, do we?” Meg asks as she wraps her hands with tape. “You know, this could all be solved if you went back to your house and put these silly ideas of running away in a drawer never to be opened again like a good little boy. Or, you chose to get your ass beaten, and not in the fun way.”_

_Zag’s brain chooses to remind him at that moment that Meg is hot when she’s angry._

_Zag does get his ass kicked. The first time, the second time, and the third time. And yet, he keeps coming back for more._

_“Are you ever going to get tired, Zagreus? When are you going to realize that you won’t be able to leave like your mother, that there’s no way you’ll be able to find her?”_

_“Never, I’ll do what it takes for me to leave this place.”_

_“You’re going to just abandon your duty and the rest of your family. Is that what you’re planning, Zagreus?”_

_Zag has to prove to Meg that he is, in fact, determined to leave. That it’s not something that words can change, not something that an ass whooping can change._

_Zag finally beats Meg after the sixth try._

_They stare at each other, where they lay on the floor._

_They’re both breathing heavily._

_“You won. Are you going to keep gloating?”_

_Zag scrambles upward. “Um, sorry about that.”_

_Meg walks toward her back, taking off her gloves and unwraps the tape from between her fingers. She shoves her stuff in her bag. “I’ll see you around, Zagreus. I better not hear from people that I went easy on you.”_

_“Never.”_

_That’s not how their last conversation goes, as much as Zag wishes it did._

_Meg calls him after he gets to New York, after he’s settled into the apartment, after he’s met with his mother. It’s after Zag told Nyx that he made it, that his phone starts ringing._

_“You’re crazy, did you know that? This whole goddamn town is going to go up in flames because of you, Zagreus. Your father isn’t happy and it’s me and my sisters who have to clean up your mess. This is a blow to the status of your father, did you think he’ll lay down like a dog and just take it?”_

_She hangs up without an opportunity for Zag to respond._

~~

Zag wakes up the next morning, head pounding. 

How does he always end up like this?

Actually, Zag doesn’t want to know the answer. 

He checks his phone again, before realizing it must’ve died the night before. He was probably too drunk to plug it in.

He plugs it in before shoving his face back into his pillow in an attempt to soothe the pain behind his eyes. It doesn’t help.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but he lifts his head at the vibrations coming from the side of his bed. 

His lock screen dings with each notification. 

He opens his phone to look at the messages when he sees Meg’s message. Zag glances down and realizes his read receipts are on. 

Well, fuck.

Zag will not live past breakfast. Hell, Meg might make him into some nice bacon and serve him with eggs. Zag might as well as start his eulogy now. 

Zag gets hit with major deja vu as he starts to type out a response. 

Is every one of his excuses that he got too drunk?

There’s a bunch of questions Zag doesn’t want answered and this is one of them. He’s already listed the other ones. 

**Zag**

Hey Meg. Nice warm welcome I got. Do you want to talk at some point?

Zag hits send. He gives himself a B- on the response. 

He heads downstairs. His father is out of the house for once and Zag has the kitchen to himself.

A loud, high pitched yawn comes from down the hallway, and thundering steps make their way towards Zag.

“Good morning, Cerberus. How was your sleep, boy? Good! Who’s a good boy?”

He meanders around his kitchen for a bit, opening and closing the fridge multiple times, as if it’s contents could change in that amount of time. He eventually makes some eggs and bacon and sits down at the kitchen island.

Zag checks his phone again, with one message appearing on his home screen as he takes a bite of his eggs. 

There’s nothing on the home screen of his phone. He didn’t expect Meg to respond, and his only hope to live another day is to _not_ run into her today. 

He finishes his breakfast in the next couple of bites with an odd feeling of contentment in his stomach. 

He heads back upstairs to his room, throwing on a sweatshirt over his tank top and packs his boxing bag before going on his way to the gym. 

He passes Achilles on his way out, giving him a little wave and nod before going. 

There’s an excitement in his chest that he hasn’t felt in a while, something he only felt when he arrived in New York for the first time. _You’ve never felt that here_ , a deep part of his mind reminds him. Thanks, brain, he didn’t need the reminder. 

As he approaches the door, he can hear the sounds of fists hitting a mat and others pads. 

He opens the door to the gym. Meg’s in the ring, fighting with Skelly, the trainer at the gym. 

_Well, fuck._ His one objective for today was ruined. 

Also, did everyone get hotter while he was away? Is that possible?

Maybe he has a thing for muscular people. 

Meg’s boxing in a sports bra and shorts, and her hair is up in her usual high ponytail. It’s nothing Zag hasn’t seen before, technically he’s seen her in less. He watches, her form impeccable as always, as she beats Skelly for the millionth time. 

“Next time put up more of a challenge, Skelly, if you insist on fighting me.” Her voice rings out, deep and smooth. 

Zag closes the door behind him, the loud noise gaining Meg’s attention. 

She leans against the ropes of the ring, her eyes narrowing as she scans Zag. “I thought I told you to stay away, Zagreus. My threats aren’t empty ones.” 

Zag places his bag on the ground and takes out his tape, wrapping his hand. “I’m aware. This isn’t the first time you’ve threatened me. Or do I have to remind you?” Zag asks, while raising an eyebrow.

Meg scoffs at his words. “I could never forget beating your ass, Zagreus. If you don’t want that to happen again, I suggest kindly fucking off.”

“You know I don’t know how to do that, Meg.”

Me raises her eyebrow at him. “You want to get beat up.” It’s not a question.

“I have nothing better to do.”

Meg shakes her head, her ponytail swishing with the movement. “You’ve been back for two days, and already you’re bothering me.” She adds on a couple seconds later, “And Than.”

“I’ve only been back for a day, Meg.”

“Still long enough for you to make Than upset.”

Zag gives Meg a look. “How long have you been talking to Than?”

He finishes both hands and puts them in his gloves before hopping over the ropes. 

Meg turns to him, and close up, Zag can see the thin layer of sweat glistening on her skin, down her neck and her abs, watches as her chest heaves from the exertion. 

Zag’s missed her. He wishes he could tell her, tell her how much she meant to him, what she still means to him. It’s not the time for sentimental thoughts, though. He’s about to get his ass pounded, and not in the fun way. 

“Long enough,” she says as she moves off the ropes. Her voice goes deeper as she fake whispers to him, “Maybe if you beat me, you can ask all the answers you want. I win, I get to ask you any questions I want.” She leans back out. “I’ll give you two chances, because I’m feeling nice.” She scoffs as she runs her eyes up and down his body. “You don’t seem like you got much practice.”

Zag rolls his eyes. “Ever the charmer, Meg.”

She tightens her boxing gloves more before dropping into her stance. It’s the same as it was four years ago, but Zag really doesn’t have a good feeling about this. 

Maybe it was a good thing that Meg gave him more that one try. 

Meg goes for a right hook first, always on the offensive. He responds with a duck and his own set of jabs. They make contact, briefly, but Meg is too fast for that to have any effect. 

When Meg finally lands a solid punch, Zag’s brain has to stop for a moment and reload. She must’ve been training with Than, because he does not remember her left hook hurting that badly. There’s no way she could’ve learned it from anyone other than Than. 

Zag winces, and he watches as Meg’s slight smile grows into a smirk. 

“Got you.”

Zag shakes his head slightly. 

They go through another exchange of hits, both of them equally as affected as they go back to watching each other. 

Zag doesn’t know how Meg keeps her hair in that ponytail. Seriously. It still looks flawless despite the amount of moving their both doing. Is Zag a bit jealous? Yes. 

When they go into their next exchange of hits, Zag ends up on the floor. His entire body aches, and yea, Meg is right. He really is out of practice. 

Zag pushes himself up, coming face to face with an amused Meg. “Good try, Zag.”

She leaves the ring, and Zag can’t help but watch as her long leg lifts upward to clear the rope. Her back is toned, the muscles defined and sharp.

He gets up, following behind her. He grabs his own bottle of water before looking over at Meg. 

Just as Zag opens his mouth, Meg shushes him. “Zag,” she crows. “We went over the rules already. Questions after you beat me.” She adds with a growing smirk, “If you can.”

Zag smiles back. He’s always been good at adapting to different styles of fighting. With Megaera, he’s always needed to be on his toes. She’s never been afraid to fight hard and dirty in order to win. 

Needless to say, Zag has experience fighting her. Problem is she has experience fighting him. 

“Ready to go again so soon, Zagreus?” Her voice is slightly mocking, tilted upward with a hint of a flirty tone in it.

Zag gives her a sly smile in return. “Only if you’re ready for it,” he says, finishing it off with a wink.

Zag hops back into the ring, Meg following not far behind. 

As they both drop back into their stances, Zag glances at the way her feet are set and the way she holds her hands. It’s always been her tell, she’s always been too over eager to react and to start. 

He notices a quick twitch of her fingers before her fist goes flying at his head. Her form remains steady and excellent, despite this being her third match of the day. 

He dodges and attempts a left jab. Meg ducks and follows in close, using his longer arms and reach against him. She gets a couple of strong hits against his torso before pulling back. Zag walks backward, remaining on the balls of his feet. 

He waits for a moment, watching before getting closer and feinting before going in for a small flurry of hits. 

When Meg goes back in for another couple of body shots, they end up in a lock, their bodies against each other before they both back away. 

Meg’s body was warm. 

Zag wrinkles his nose to distract himself. He has to blink hard as he tries to refocus on Meg’s combos. 

“Getting tired yet, Zag?”

“You wish.”

This time when Meg goes back into the combo of punches she was successful with last time, Zag side steps and feints to the right before hitting her body on the left. His next punch sends her reeling across the ring. 

Meg gets up slowly, and a bit shakily. She wipes the corner of her mouth. Zag follows her out of the ring and unwraps his gloves and tape while watching Meg undo her own wraps. 

There’s no way Meg is going to count this as him winning the deal. 

She gets up and grabs her stuff, opening the door halfway before turning around to look at him. “Are you coming?”

Zag shoves his stuff into his bag and scrambles upward like an excited puppy. He winces mentally at his response but follows anyway. 

She shoves her stuff into an old, beat up Chevy. Zag follows and tosses his stuff in before hopping into shotgun. 

“I better not hear any words about this later,” Meg says, while turning the key in the ignition. She drives them to an old spot, an abandoned shed across town. She puts the car in park and turns the engine off, throwing her legs up on the dash. 

Zag stays silent, occasionally glancing away from the window to look at her. 

“Well? Don’t tell me I drove all the way out here for nothing, Zagreus. I wouldn’t be spending time with your sad ass if I didn’t have to.”

Silence. 

Zag doesn’t know where to start. _Did she miss him? What was it like when he was gone? Did she meet anyone? What did people do for the past four years?_

_How was Than?_

“Really, Zag? No questions? So I’ve just wasted an hour of my life- it seems all I do with you is just _waste time_ -”

“What was it like when I was gone?” Zag blurts. 

Meg blinks at him. Her face hardens before speaking. “You left quite a mess behind. Hades wasn’t very happy with you success. Do you know who had to clean up _your_ mess? Of course not. You don’t think about anyone else but yourself, now do you, Zagreus? It’s always what’s best for you .You never think about how your actions impact others.”

Despite the angry front Meg puts up, Zag can still hear the way her voice quivers slightly at the end of her sentence. There’s something else behind those words, but Zag can’t dig them out, they keep slipping from his grasp. 

So, instead, Zag asks another question. “How long have you and Than been talking?”

“We’ve always talked, Zag. Even before,” she waves her hand around. “That.”

He wants to ask more, wants to ask about Than, how he is, what he’s been up to but Meg cuts him off with a clear of her throat. “Why did you come back, Zagreus?”

Zag’s brows furrowed. “I- I don’t know.”

“Bullshit. If you’re going to sit here in my car, you’re going to tell me the truth. Don’t give me the half-assed answer you gave to Than. Now, I ask again. Why did you come back?”

Zag falls silent. 

See, the thing is Zag _doesn’t_ know _._

“I wanted to see you again?” His voice comes out hesitant and unsure. 

The moment those words leave his mouth, Zag knows it’s not the full reason. There’s still another part, buried underneath mounds of his desires and wants, that he’s digging out. His hands are already dirty and he’s arm deep and he doesn’t know how much further he has to dig. 

Zag clears his throat around the words built up in the back of his throat. 

Meg lets out a huff. “You know that’s not the answer, Zagreus.”

Zag’s voice is quiet. “What do you want me to say when I don’t know the answer?”

“I don’t like being lied to.”

Meg puts her feet back on the ground. They sit in silence as Meg drops him back off at his house. She glares at him as he gets his bag out of the truck. “Next time we meet, Zag, I want the truth.” Meg closes the window as she drives off. 

Zag can’t stop his heart from sinking.

~~

_His mother stands at the doorway of his new apartment, somewhere that his aunt, Athena, had bought and provided for him. It’s a grand room, the walls are painted blue and with high ceilings and his apartment is just as big as his room back at home._

_It’s never felt so right._

_When Zag turns around and catches sight of her, short blonde hair and a long green dress, Zag knows that this is what he’s been missing in life._

_This feeling overshadows the small twisting in his gut, because even though he’s made it, after months of fighting to get to New York, he still feels like there’s something missing in his heart. It’s shoved so deep behind this false feeling of belonging that Zag doesn’t even notice it until later._

_“Who are you? Athena sent me here under the guise that there would be a surprise? Are you the surprise?”_

_Her voice is as sweet as honey, flowing slowly into his brain like molasses, and it takes Zag a few seconds to fully register what she said._

_“Mom-?”_

_His voice comes out shaky, like a horse first learning how to stand for the first time._

_He searches in her eyes, the familiar green that he’s seen in the mirror so many times._

_His eyes had always been somewhat of a woe for him, something that pointed out to Zagreus with such blinding obviousness that he was truly missing something, that there was still another half of him that existed outside of Hell._

_Her eyes narrow. “There’s no way you are- My son’s dead.” Her eyes trail up and down his body frantically. “You were dead, and yet here you stand-”_

_“I was dead?”_

_She approaches him, slowly, her hand reaching out toward his face as if she were lost in a desert, and he was a mirage, a figment of her imagination that would disappear if she moved too quickly._

_Her hand makes contact with his face, and her hand flinches away as if he burned her, as if the flames of Hell were still stuck to his body._

_“You’re really here?”_

_“It’s me, Zagreus.”_

_“Zagreus.”_

_She says his name with a gasp like she’s seen fireworks for the first time, like she’s laid her eyes on every jewel imaginable, like she was given the sick promise of immortal life._

_Persephone pulls him into a hug._

_She presses her face against his chest, and Zag has to bend down to hug her properly. His face buries into her hair, and she smells like every flower imaginable. She’s warm and soft and something he could never find in Hell._

_She pulls away all too quickly, her eyes moving around his face. “How-?”_

_Zagreus doesn’t know where to start. He blurts out his own question: “Why did you leave?”_

_Persephone leads him to the couch, surrounded by planted succulents by the window._

_“After you were born,” The words hang heavy in the air, hanging with the unspoken words: ‘after you were born dead’. “I couldn’t stay. There was nothing drawing me there, I never quite felt like I truly belonged there. It was never the place for me. So I didn’t stay. I packed up, and moved back to New York, where I was originally born and raised. Zagreus.” She says his name exactly like she said it the first time, and Zag doesn’t think he’ll tire of hearing his name if that’s how it sounds. The next part is so quiet it could be a whisper. “He kept your name.”_

_“I had to best him, mother, to get out of that cursed place. He told me before I left that Cerberus is doing well.”_

_They bring a smile to her face. “I’m glad you’re here, Zagreus. I am hopeful that you don’t have to leave soon.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“You’re just like your father.” He hand moves to cup his cheek again, and Zag lets his head lean against her warm palm. “You’ve never been meant to stay anywhere but Hell.”_

_“Mother, I’m here now, aren’t I? Why would I return?”_

_“You don’t have a choice. There’s something anchoring you there. Something that neither you and I can control. But, let’s make use of the time we have together, shall we? What did dearest Nyx say? ‘We are only mortals doing the best in the time the Gods give us?”_

_And Zag does. He spends as much time as he can with Persephone after his classes. He makes up for lost time. Making up for the warm cookies that were never baked for him, making up for the warm hugs, making up for lost bedtime stories._

_It’s everything Zag wished he had, and more._

_Yet, there’s still that nasty feeling of longing. He knows he belongs here, has never felt more sure of something in his life. But he can’t stop himself from wishing that there was something more._

_Zag couldn’t see the ending even though it was laid out right in front of him. His own hope blinded him, fogged up the path leading him to the truth, leading him to the true ending._

_Zag would always return._

_He’d return, despite longing to stay in his apartment in New York._

_It’s how he finds himself on the airplane back to Michigan._

~~

Zag travels back to Nyx the next day, his mind spinning. He knocks on the door, the wood creaking slightly under the rapping of his knuckles. 

Nyx opens the door, her face softening as she sees his face. 

Zag stumbles in, sitting on the couch, leaning backwards, the cushions swallowing him up. 

“Nyx? Why didn’t you tell me I would return here, despite all my attempts to escape?” He looks up at her with tired eyes. His head is pounding, his eyes are sore and burning. 

“Child, this is something only you can answer. I’m sure you already know the response to that question.”

He closes his eyes at her response. 

Zagreus does know. 

Has known for a long time. He’s just never wanted to admit it to himself. 

When he opens his eyes, Nyx has a warm smile on her face. 

He feels a blush grow on his cheeks as he scrambles upward.

Zag knows what he has to do. 

On his way out, as he’s staggering down the front steps of the porch, he’s greeted by Hypnos, sleeping on the wooden bench.

“You know,” Hypnos yawns while sitting up and rubbing his eye blearily. “Than missed you.” His eyes grow distant as he looks away from Zag and onto the horizon. His eyes are dipping shut, Zag can see in the way Hypnos’ fingers start to fall limp that he’s on the verge of falling asleep again. “Did you know that he was trying to grow a garden? Oh, he was so sick of death that he wanted to bring back the life you brought! It was such a lovely thought but he never could manage to grow a plant before killing it,” Hypnos says, as if he hadn’t just taken Zag’s reconstructed world and torn it back down to pieces. 

Zag gives Than’s dying garden one last look before heading home. 

_Life?_

When Zag arrives, he kicks his shoes off and drops on his bed. He hits the call button and Dusa picks up on the fourth ring.

“Hello, Prince!”

“Hello, Dusa. I was wondering if you could possibly do me a favor?”

~~

It’s dark out when Zag sneaks back to Nyx’s house. Both of his hands are full, clenching around his gifts nervously. 

His hands are big enough to grasp the top of the jar of nectar, the other holds a bouquet of flowers in his hands. They’re starting to shake from his grip, and Zag can’t help but think that his idea was sorely wrong. 

He creeps up the wooden porch stairs and places his two gifts on the welcome mat with a small card dangling off the flowers. He can hear the small sounds of someone moving around despite the lights being off in the house.

With a brief surge of courage, he rings the doorbell before bolting down the stairs before hiding around the bottom of the porch, out of view. His loud, thundering footsteps were probably heard by whoever was walking to open the door.

Zag hears the familiar creek of the door opening, and he pokes his head above the floor of the deck to peak at the familiar sight of Than. 

When Than looks down, the long, top part of his hair falls into his eyes. He picks up the nectar and the flowers, glancing at the card before looking around. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing back his bangs.

Zag swallows hard. 

“Zagreus?”

Zag’s mouth opens to answer, but he manages to stop himself before words exit.

Even in the dark light, Zag can map out the way Than’s brow furrows and his hair swishes back and forth as he looks for the possible gift giver.

Than closes the door slowly, with the softest click imaginable. 

Zag releases his breath as he feels his body relax.

His next stop is Meg’s, although he requires a bit more stealth to drop it off on her doorstep without her hearing him.

He stares at Meg’s balcony. 

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d climb it. He uses the vines on the side to climb up somewhat silently, the only noises a small barn owl on the tree to his left and the sounds of his shoes against the house. He takes the slightly bent and crushed bouquet of flowers - although Meg may appreciate them less than Than - and rests the on the balcony, a place he had spent many late nights on. 

He can feel himself starting to grow warm at the thought, and he shakes his head as he climbs back down. 

No, he doesn’t slip. 

Zag doesn’t know what you’re talking about. 

He wasn’t preoccupied by the thought of their teenage trysts, thank you very much. 

His feet make a harsh sound as they connect with the dirt below him. There are the echoes of footsteps above him, and the door opens as he hears Meg walk out onto the balcony. Her footsteps come to a stop. 

Zag doesn’t hear the door close, so he waits for a bit longer before trying to leave. 

A ringing phone cuts through the heavy silence. “Hey, Than?”

A pause. 

“Yeah. I got them too.”

Meg’s voice is softer than Zag has heard it in a while. 

“Maybe. I don’t see anything.”

Zag isn’t sure if she ever used this voice around him. 

“It could be. I heard something outside.”

But she’s always used it around Than. 

“It’s alright, Than. We’ll figure it out in the morning.” 

The door to the balcony shuts with a gentle click, and Zag is off running. 

He doesn’t know where he’s running to, but it’s the same adrenaline that filled his blood all those years ago. His heart pounds and his blood roars in his ears as he runs. He lets his legs carry him past the border of Hell, past those big metal gates and down the road. 

Why is he always running? 

At least last time he had a destination. 

It’s one long road, a path filled with trees and bushes and shrubbery. It’s hard to get lost, and yet, Zag feels as though he’s taken the wrong turns and now is standing in the middle of nowhere, despite the familiar scenery. 

His heart has been a maze for the longest time, he’s never known the way out, never knew the path that will lead him to the end. He had reached dead ends, taken the same turns and he feels so close to the exit, it’s a bright light in front of him, but he hasn’t yet taken the right turn.

He’s following the stars, something that helped lead him away from Hell, something that he and Than always loved to watch when it was winter and the trees were no longer blooming. It reminded him of his mother, how, despite the smoke and the fog that covered New York city, she would show him the constellations she had learned while being away from Hell. 

He reaches the beginning of a new town after taking the first left. Zag’s lungs are burning, and his shoes are filled with rocks. The pavement turns into a dirt road, leading down to unfamiliar houses. 

His eyes are drooping shut, and exhaustion hits him like a train. His shoes drag against the road, kicking up dirt before him. 

A porch light turns on next door, and a man walks out. Zag recognizes him from somewhere, but he’s unable to put his finger on it. He’s seen this man before. That he knows for sure. 

The man grabs his arm and hauls him inside the house where Zag collapses after entering.

~~

_Zag and Than are ten, and playing in the dirt in front of Than’s house. The bottom of their feet are brown from running barefoot and their fingernails are caked with dirt._

_Than’s hair hangs down in his face from his bowl cut style as he drags his stick in the mud. He’s focused, the lines of his shoulders are drawn into a tight line and his lips are pursed, but when Zag calls his name with a soft, “Thanatos,”, he looks up, doe-eyed and mouth hanging slightly open. His hair parts down the middle, leaving his bangs in his eyes._

_Zag yanks the stick out of his hand, and continues the drawing while Than hangs over his shoulder, watching. Zag feels Than’s breath fan against his neck, a soft breeze despite their closeness, bringing a coolness to the hot summer day._

_Zag mistakes the way his heart beats against his chest as excitement._

_Than’s hand brushes against his softly, and Than’s hands are cold no matter the temperature it is. Zag feels warmth shoot up his arm from where Than had touched him._

_Than’s cold hand wraps around his, and starts to lead him, stick dragging against the mud._

_Zag loves these moments, the moments where neither Zag or Than are worried about their futures as the sons of the leaders of the town, where Than can drop his cold and bitter demeanor for Zag, and Zag no longer feels like the lonely outcast._

_They sit for a couple minutes longer, Than’s hand leading his own in soft, gentle circles._

_Zag can only stand sitting in the same place for so long, so he drops the stick, and Than pulls his hand away to look at Zag._

_“I want to play,” Zag demands, a pout filling his face._

_He pulls Than up, and drags him to the nearest tree, convincing him to a race to see who can get the highest. He reaches a branch higher than Than, dangling his legs off the branch of above him in a silent taunt._

_The last thing Zag sees before the setting shifts and he’s no longer with Than is the fond smile on his face._

_He’s sitting at a desk next. It’s one of those old, wooden desks you would see in an elementary school and the wood has been etched into on more than one occasion. Zag can make out where names have been carved into it, and they’re names he slightly recognizes from his father’s ramblings about work._

_A pretty girl sits in the chair next to him and Zag can’t help but sneak glances at her when the teacher passes out papers and when her name is called. She has long, pretty hair, silky smooth and in a high ponytail. Her eyes are a pretty amber, and she’s smart too, and everything his third grade self could want._

_Their friendship starts after a scuffle on the playground ending in a couple of scraped knees and bruised egos._

_It’s not the first time on the playground he’s gotten made fun of for being the motherless son of Hades, the mayor of the town. It’s the first time someone else other than himself stood up for him._

_Than isn’t the type to confront people head on, he’d rather wait until they weren’t looking. He’s never been the best at protecting them from the other kids, and Zag didn’t want to make anymore problems with his father when he got him._

_Meg stops her gossiping with another girl, Dusa, to head over and push the person taunting him. She crosses her arms, and her face is pulled into a scowl. Someone pushes Zag in retaliation, ripping his skin through the jeans on the rough pavement. Meg pushes back._

_The “fight” is broken up by the overseeing teachers, and all five of them are sent to the principal’s office._

_That’s where Meg formally introduces herself, hand sticking out to him with a slight smile that shows a missing front tooth._

_Zag offers his own hand and mirrors the way he’s seen his father do handshakes thousands of times._

_Than passes them in the hall, the class trailing after their teacher in a line like ducklings. Zag watches his face fall as he returns his sights onto the person in front of him, his hair falling back over his eyes._

_They’re all put together in the same sixth grade classroom. Zag can feel the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of them not getting along._

_His hands are sweating as he shoves them into his hoodie pocket, entering the door on the first day of school._

_When he enters the classroom, however, he sees Meg and Than sitting on top the radiator, laughing as Meg tells a story._

_Zag’s face stretches into a smile and he doesn’t wait to hop in between them on the radiator._

~~

He wakes up with his face pressed into pillows on a cold leather couch. When he cracks an eye open, sunlight is peering through the windows onto the blue rug on the wooden floors. 

“Oh,” a deep voice says. “You’re awake.”

The man sets tea down on the table in front of him. Zag’s eyes are still blurry from sleep so he reaches out blindly, depth perception unavailable, grasping the mug after the third try. 

Zag sits up, running his hand through his hair. He winces as his eyes get hit with blinding sunlight and his body aches in protest. 

As Zag rubs the sleep furiously out of his eyes, he can finally distinguish the man’s facial features. He has long brown hair, flowing down his shoulders, and his beard is trim and cut close to his face. His brown eyes have the same innocence that caused Hera’s eyes to be referred to as doe-eyes, and yet, they hold an indistinguishable amount of pain and sadness. It was as if, despite the harsh realities of the world, despite what he had experienced, he still wanted to believe that the world could offer hope. 

It was a painfully familiar face, only brought to his memory by the sight of another photo on the mantle. 

It’s one Zag has seen before, resting his mentor's nightstand he had seen accidentally years ago. It was not one Zag could forget, the distinct way his face led into his hairline and the light hair matching the same Achilles Zag knows in Hell. 

Patroclus follows his eyes to the picture and his hands tighten around his own mug of tea. 

“Perhaps it’s fitting,” Patroclus says, his eyes glazed over with a faraway look. “That I ended up in a town called Elysium and he ended up in a place called Hell. I’m not sure why we thought we would have a different outcome than our namesake. It was a love never meant to last.” Patroclus glances back to Zag. “Now who might you be?”

Zag blinks at him, his sleep addled brain still sluggish from the night of running. “Do you not-Are you not talking anymore?”

“There are some things out of my control, child. We did, however, exchange a few words behind your father’s back last night.” Patroclus sets his cup on the coffee table, reaching across to grab a coaster before it settles with a soft _clink_. Zag splutters. Patroclus raises an eyebrow at his reaction. “Achilles saw you running down the road. You can’t keep secrets for long in towns like ours.” A pause. “Zagreus, Hades’ boy, correct?”

Zag nods. 

“How did you get here, Zagreus? Not many come here for fun.” Patroclus settles his elbows onto his knees, leaning closer. 

“I was… I was running…”

Patroclus tilts his head, deep brown eyes staring into his own, as if he were a book to be read. Patroclus leans back into his chair, nodding to himself. “Ah,” he says, as if all made sense now. “It’s the Fates.”

“The Fates?”

When Patroclus glances up at him again, his face asks _seriously?_ and his eyebrow is cocked. “You know,” he gestures with his arms, “the three old ladies with the thread; one cuts, one mea-”

Zagreus scowls. “Yes. I know what the Fates are.”

“Then you know why you’re here.”

“I- I don’t?”

“The Fates sent you here for a reason.” 

“But I don’t- Look, I-”

The realization hits him like a truck. 

It’s he’s just watched a mirage fade away, like a mirror shattering and Zag can finally see the truth. 

He remembers the way his heart would jump to his throat or the way his stomach would burn. 

If the way Zag has always loved Meg, even after his mistake, was like a wildfire, like fireworks and supernovas, then Zag’s love for Than is like soft snow falling, the gentle chill on a autumn day, ice cream on a hot day. 

It’s funny how his blood simmers beneath his skin every time he thinks about them, how his heart beats faster and his stomach flips a few times before settling contentedly somewhere deep in his body.

Patroclus looks at him with a wistful gaze. “I remember feeling like that,” he says, quietly, almost a whisper. “Have you figured out your purpose, child?”

Zag feels a blush rise to his face. “I- um. Well. Yea.”

“How do you do it?”

Patroclus blinks. “Do what?”

“How do you stay away from him for so long?”

Patroclus’ gaze falls to his hands. “I don’t have a choice, child.”

Zag’s heart drops into his stomach.

Patroclus glances up at him. “The Fates choose our destinies, just as they chose for you to come here.” Patroclus’ dark eyes stare into his own. “Just as they don’t allow you to stay with your mother.”

“But how do you do it?”

_Does your soul not beg for him? Does your heart not beat for him?_

Patroclus gives him a bitter smile. “I do what I must.” Patroclus shakes his head slowly, his hands coming to rest in lightly gathered fists. Patroclus levels his gaze at Zag. His voice is grave and deep and full of regret and sorrow. “Zagreus,” he says, “Don’t make the same mistakes we did. Your ambition is never greater than the love you feel. Else you end up like Achilles and me, separated and alone, despite the ache in our hearts. It’s alright to desire the things you do not have. Achilles did. Don’t forget where you came from, and live your life without regrets, Zagreus.”

Zagreus never realized that the connection that Persephone was referring to was one of a red thread, one that connected soulmates and lovers, one that was unbreakable, one that was wrapped around his pinky, forever leading him back to them. 

“I won’t, Patroclus.”

Despite the ache in his legs, Zagreus stands. Patroclus gives him one last gift, one to help him home. 

Zag accepts it with a handshake, and he’s off, heading back home with a bag in his hands and hope filling his chest. 

As Zag starts his walk back to Hell, Zag can feel the tiredness in his bones. Zag didn’t think his legs could hurt more than they did when he started his walk back to Hell. 

Well, he was wrong. 

He’s around two miles away from Hell, and goddamn, his legs feel like lead and the soles of his feet are aching and even his toes hurt. 

It’ll be worth it. 

It’s so unlike when he travelled to New York; it was like a breath of fresh air, his muscles finally relaxed and his mind could work again. This time, his muscles ache and his brain is muddled but for two people: _Than and Meg_. It’s an odd dissonance between the two where both times he has gone searching for others. 

He finally makes it to the Gates of Hell, gray shoes almost brown and his shirt is hot and sweaty and sticks against his skin. 

Summer has decided to come early, it seems. 

Zag pulls open the door with a harsh tug, ignoring the way the hinges creak in protest. He glances down the long hallway to his father’s study, the same, half-open door at the end of it. It’s the same as it was the day before, and Zagreus is sure that his father didn’t realize he was missing last night.

Oh well, Zag has more important things to deal with. And those things do not include his father. 

By the time he’s reached his room, he’s stripped off his god-awful disgusting, sweaty shirt with every intention of showering. When he opens the door, placing Patroclus’ gift onto the dresser next to the door and throwing his shirt into the direction of his hamper, he reaches for a change of clothes before pausing. 

He turns around slowly away from the door to stare at the center of the room, where Meg’s back is facing him and she has her fingers running through Thanatos’ hair. 

Zag drops his change of clothes in surprise. 

“What-?”

Meg doesn’t bother to turn her head in his direction as she responds. “You never lock your doors, Zagreus. You should expect visitors.”

Meg’s fingers have pulled Than’s hair away from his face into a ponytail on top of his head, and Zag has never seen Than so content. 

“Am I dreaming?”

“Do you dream about us often?”

“I-”

Meg pulls her hands away from Than’s hair, letting it fall back into his face. “So,” she says. Her voice cuts through the tension easily. “Have you finally found your answer?” 

There’s no question nor hesitation in his mind.

"Yes.”

The memory of what fills the bag hits Zag like a truck as he scrambles to grab its contents.

Zag pulls out the bouquet of white flowers, the petals wilted and the leaves dry. His disappointment leaves a sour taste in his mouth as her stares at them, drooping towards the floor. 

A cold hand covers his own, taking the base of the bouquet from his grip. Than inspects the flowers, watching as they try to stand upright. Zagreus pulls out the final gift, a bottle of nectar, in an apology, and that’s what brings Meg closer. 

She uncorks the bottle and gives it a swig before passing it to Than, who takes his eyes off the flowers for just long enough to grip the neck of the bottle well enough so he doesn’t drop it. 

Meg lets out a sigh. “Come here, Zagreus,” she says, her tone slightly humorous. She pulls him closer by the wrist. 

They haven’t been this close since they were dating. 

“Are you going to enlighten us your reason? Maybe if you answer right, you’ll get a prize.”

Zag is hyper aware of how close he is to Meg, her body pressed against his, her lips in front of his face. 

When Than breaks his gaze away from the flowers, Zag feels the weight of his gaze. 

Zag swallows. 

“Well, Zagreus?” Than says, his voice oh so much deeper than it was before. 

A pause. 

“It’s always been you.” Zag lets out a humorless laugh. “Gods, it’s always been you since the beginning- Did you know that? I didn’t- not until now of course.” Zag shakes his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize before-”

Than grabs his face and cuts him off with a kiss. 

~~

When they lay out on his balcony later that night, eerily similar to the last time he and Than talked out here. 

“Is what Hypnos said true, Than?”

Than gives him a look from where he rests against Meg, who has already started sleeping on Zag’s shoulder. “What did Hypnos say?”

The dead flowers still rest on the dresser where Than had put them down. 

_“I’ve made dried flowers into rings and necklaces before,” Than said. He noticed Zag’s confused face before continuing. “People bring in flowers from their loved one’s funeral and request jewelry among other things.” Than glanced at the flowers. “I think I can make you both something.”_

“About the garden?”

Than lets out a sigh. “Yes. I don’t think you realized what would be missing if you left.” His eyes grow distant. “But now I realize you belong there.”

Zag’s heart threatens to crawl up his throat. 

“If you need to leave again I won’t stop you.”

Zag isn’t sure where he wants to be. 

Whether the freedom of the city and the love of his mother would be worth leaving again, leaving this new relationship he has blooming. 

All Zag knows is that, lying here with them, the air Zag’s lungs are clean and his heart no longer hesitates. 

So he settles on a quiet, “Thank you, Than,” and decides to enjoy the moment of warm skin pressed against his. 

~~

As Dusa finishes her shift, wiping down the table tops of the bar, her phone rings. 

There’s two messages lighting up the screen. 

It’s from Zag, and Dusa can’t help the smile that grows across her face as she reads the message. 

Its a picture of Zag with Meg and Than laying across each other, a tangle of limbs across Zag’s lap. 

**Zag**

_Thank you_

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> alright! hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> comment or not, i can't make you do anything!
> 
> most of my characterization comes from the game wiki so hopefully it was good enough, haha. 
> 
> thank you for reading!


End file.
